February 4, 2012

Struggling and venting (a twofer)

So, on Wednesday I wrote this great January recap post, going on about how proud I was of myself and the success I've had thus far with my new lifestyle.  I went on about the new way I look at food, and how I see it as healthy vs. unhealthy now, as opposed to yummy vs. blah.  I said that exercising daily has become routine, and how I look forward to it every day.  Basically, it was a love letter to myself.

Well, you know how you let your guard down for ONE second? 

Yeah, that happened.

But before I can fill you in on the meltdown, let me vent a little so maybe you won't judge me so harshly.

The relationship between myself and my mother-in-law has been sketchy since before Christmas.  Basically for the past five years I've just let her tell me when she's coming to visit, and for how long, instead of insisting that she ask if we're busy or if it's even okay with us that she and my father-in-law visit.  Also for five years I've allowed her to bring their dog with them to my house, even though me and our youngest child are both allergic.  They both know this fact, but don't much care. 

Finally back in October after the baby and I both got severe allergy colds after a visit from the inlaws and the dog, husband and I had a long talk and decided we were tired of it.  We broached the topic with the inlaws and told them that because of kiddo and my health we would prefer if they would leave the dog at home.  The next time they visited (without calling first - and they live an hour away) they brought the dog.  Unfortunately for them they picked the wrong day to do this, since I was in a particularly bitchy mood on that day.  I informed them both that regardless of allergies, this was OUR house and we wished that they would 1) respect our wishes about the dog and stop bringing him and 2) learn how to ask about visiting before just showing up.  This did not go over well. 

So Christmas was terribly uncomfortable for me, husband and the inlaws.  She was still miffed about the dog, and he had refused to visit the past three times in protest of the dog ban - although his absence didn't bother me that much because he's an insufferable jerk. Seriously. 

Fast-forward to two weeks ago, when dear mother-in-law texted me to inform me that she would be coming to visit that weekend.  I responded that it was not a good time for her to visit, but that they could come this upcoming weekend (today) to visit for the day.  I never got a response.  Then on Tuesday night I came in from choir practice and was informed by my very frustrated husband that she had just called him to tell him that they would be coming in on Friday (last night) to spend the night, and they were bringing the dog. 

I. Freaking. Lost. It. 

I started screaming, "No, no, no, no, NO!"  Husband just stood there in shock.  I think he was afraid of me for a second.  I got on my phone to quickly inform her that no, she would not be coming in on Friday, she could come for a few hours on Saturday, and she most certainly would not be bringing the dog, and if she wants to be angry at me, that's fine.  She had no response for me.  I went on to tell her that it very much upset husband when they continued to put the dog before their grandchildren, and how much I hated for him to be repeatedly upset because they couldn't bear to leave the damn dog alone for five hours.

(Note:  Let me interject here and say for the record that I LOVE dogs.  I always have.  I'm just terribly allergic to them and would prefer to keep the place where I live dog hair free. Is that so much to ask??)

What is her response?  She sends husband a text:  "Mommy and Daddy love you." 

What. The. Frick.   Even husband was like, "What the hell? How ridiculous can you be?"

Then again Thursday afternoon she called with yet another plea to come in and spend the night last night.  He would stay home (in protest again, I assume).  FINALLY, finally (thank you Lord) husband stood up for himself and told her that she was not going to come in yesterday and spend the night, but that she AND he could come in today and visit for a few hours.  He stood his ground and she finally, grudgingly, gave in and agreed. 

Now, I am not a moron, and have no desire whatsoever to spend my day with two people who I hardly like in general and certainly cannot stand at the moment.  I'm being as nice as possible because I don't want my husband to be estranged from his parents, and I do want my kids to know their grandparents, even if they are jerks.  So, I will be spending my day elsewhere while the inlaws visit husband and kids. 

So, back to the meltdown....

I was SO frustrated and aggravated Thursday night that after dinner I popped not one but TWO bags of popcorn and shoveled it all into my mouth like I was starving to death. 

Then yesterday while spending the day at a fundraiser I ate a sandwich (the first bread I have eaten in over a month).  Then for dinner husband suggested we order from a little mom-and-pop place up the road that does all kinds of food.  I usually order a salad, but tonight, no sir, I ordered the seafood basket.  Fried catfish, fried oysters, fried shrimp, coleslaw and hushpuppies.  I ate it all.  Every. Last. Piece.

So now I am angry at myself for doing so badly, angry at my inlaws for being morons, and just angry in general. 

I know I'll wake up tomorrow and be back on the bandwagon, but I constantly worry that one slip will cause me to give up completely and that I'll be forever fat.   I have GOT to stop being a stress-eater.  That, or somehow convince the inlaws to move far, far away....

5 comments:

  1. Just keep up the best you can and slip ups happen. It might delay you but it won't stop you.

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  2. One slip means nothing. Compare it to all of the non-slips, and calculate a 'batting average'. Then see how you compare to the batting greats. You'll see what I mean. :)

    I'll let you borrow my personal pep talk that I give myself on a regular basis:

    "Just shrug it off. You'll do better next time."

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  3. You're doing so well, don't like a slip like you had make you lose confidence in yourself! This weekend I had brunch with my friends and that included a pancake w/syrup, 2 slices of bacon, fruit with nutella whipped cream. That night I had popcorn at the movie theater and some mashed potatoes during dinner and the next day I had buttery popcorn at the movie theater. I may have lost my mind some during the weekend but I still feel like in general I'm doing well.

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  4. Don't be too hard on yourself, EVERYONE makes mistakes. Best thing is put it behind you and resolve to find another way to vent when you need too; I find running sometimes helps? Or mindless TV, how about a bit of ANTM!? Xx

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  5. Please text/email/call me or something when you need to vent or rage or whatever...that's what I'm here for. I am a pretty good listener and I'm always here for you. I hope everything went okay through the weekend. Love you lots :)

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