1st Milestone

I did it.  I hit my first milestone. 

THIRTY POUNDS.

3-0

The big three-and-oh.

That's six 5lb bags of sugar.

meijer.com



120 quarter pounders.

monacome.com



10 cans of Crisco oil





preparednessadvice.com





4 gallons of water



mistymountainspringwater.com



120 sticks of butter

dabbledabbledo.blogspot.com

20 dozen eggs

dreamstime.com

A 32-inch flat screen tv

fareastgizmos.com

I'm beyond proud of myself, but at the same time I'm still in a bit of shock.  I have set weight loss goals for myself many, many times over the past 15 years.  Never once have I ever met any of them.  Even when I went smaller with 15- or 20-pound goals, I could only manage 10 or 12 before giving up and going back to my old habits. 

For the first time, I've actually made it to the first milestone.  I feel like I should throw myself a party.

I still have 103 pounds to go, which is three more 30lb milestones and a last one of 13.  After hitting this first mark, though, I am so confident that I can hit the rest of them, one at a time, until at last, for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I will be at my "ideal" body weight.  Not only that, I'll be healthy and fit and not have to worry about all of the health problems that come with obesity anymore.  What a day that will be!

Don't ever think you can't do it, guys.  You can do ANYTHING!

Yo!

Hey guys, I'm still kickin'.  Busy gal and all.

I'm over at A Different Path to Loss today sharing a new-ish recipe I found that's low-fat and AWESOME.

Come check it out!

Biggest Fears

Yesterday I was listening to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning while driving to school.  They were discussing their biggest fears, and each person on the show had to take a turn.  Kellie's is being fired.  JC's is doctors. Big Al's is disappointing his parents.  Kidd's is the triangle of death - he wouldn't give his actual fear.  Jenna's is dying in a plane crash.  Then they got to Shannon, the quiet chick who keeps them on schedule and is rarely heard on the show.  Her biggest fear:  getting fat.  

When she said it I immediately got angry.  It was self-defense mode, I'm sure, to react that way.  I'm like that with many things.  If somebody makes a fat joke in general, I get angry.  If an overweight person is discriminated against or made fun of on TV or in a movie, I get angry.  I know this is more about my own self esteem issues than anything, but that does not make it any less wrong to use an obese person as the brunt of a joke or as a good story line.   

I started ranting and raving in my car, to no one in particular, about how insensitive people are, and Oh, you're SO terrified of gaining weight, honey, you should try being overweight for most of your life and being unable to LOSE weight.   I'll admit, I had a small pity party going on in the midst of that rant.  

After thinking about it for a while, though, I realized her fear isn't all that shocking.  If I were forced to examine my own fears, one of my biggest fears is that I'll always be fat.  Isn't all that different from Shannon's fear, is it? 

Even as I'm on this journey, working hard to eat the right foods, smaller portions, exercise, be healthy, in the back of my mind is this nagging voice that says don't bother with all of this, it's too hard.  You'll always be fat.  Just accept it.  Granted, that voice is getting smaller and smaller - I contribute that to my success thus far and the wonderful support I get from my family, friends and blogging buds.  

They say you should face your fears.  If my fear is being fat forever, then I need to face it and shut that fear up by proving it wrong.