I think if ever I feel like I'm losing momentum, or my willpower is slipping away, I should have some kind of go-to list of reminders why I got fed up with being fat in the first place, and reasons I have to stick to it. Health reasons aside, here's a few:
- Fat people hate summer. Sweat, shorts, tank tops, swimsuits, swim birthday parties, beaches = all various forms of awful when you're fat.
- Crossing my legs at the knees. Here's a picture to be sure you understand what I mean:
I haven't been able to do that since I was a freshman in high school. Know why? My thighs are too big. How much does that suck?
- Dresses. It matters not what fabric, color, accessories you use. Fat girls just do not look good in dresses because we have lumps, bulges and bloat. Everywhere. (Note: I love dresses, and plan to own dozens once I reach my goal!)
- Joints. No, not those you potheads. I'm talking about joint pain. Knees. Ankles. Back. I can't run more than a few yards before my knees reject the amount of weight on them. It's super-easy to twist your ankle when you're large. Again, too much weight. The back muscles support the stomach weight, so when there's excess weight in the stomach, the back suffers.
- Airplanes. I've fortunately never been so large an airplane seatbelt wouldn't fit around my waist, but a few times I've had to loosen the strap as far as possible to hook it. Also, those seats are tiny anyway. Squeeze a fat chick into one and NOBODY wants to sit next to her.
- Sex. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a happily married woman with a very healthy marriage. My husband apparently has some brain malfunction because while seeing myself naked in the mirror provokes the urge to scream, the husband thinks I'm sexy. I don't question it, I just thank God for it. However, it would be nice to look in the mirror and think, "Now that chick's HOT." Or better yet, maybe buy some lingerie that is actually small pieces of fabric, not yards of it. Also, we could probably get much more creative in the bedroom if I weighed less. Don't want to break furniture.
- High heels. Okay, so I know lots of women complain about wearing heels, even if they're small. Still, I am afraid of wearing thin heels for fear that they'll snap under the weight. I'm stuck with clunky heels and wedge shoes. I want to wear hooker shoes, y'all. AND have the killer calves to go with them.
- Jeans. I love jeans. I'm totally a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. Boot-cut is the least insulting type of jean I wear (I don't want to say most flattering, because there is none). You will never see me in a skinny jean, because I feel like if I wanted to wear something that form-fitting it would probably be tights, but it would be nice to wear cute little low-rise jeans and not worry about a muffin top or my thighs looking like they're trying to bust through the fabric.
Geez, I'm motivating myself by the minute here.
- Sports. I love softball, basketball and football. I played the first two all through elementary and junior high school. I was really good at them, too. Now I would love to play on adult co-ed leagues with my cousins and friends, but feel like I'm way too out of shape for that. Running the bases would probably leave me gasping for air. That's embarrassing.
- Amusement Parks. Sure, I love the thrill of a roller coaster as much as the next chick. The most embarrassing thing in the world is walking up to get on a ride and then seeing a weight limit, which is usually 200 or 250 pounds. I'm always over that. No ride for me.
- Confidence. I hate walking into a room, meeting people for the first time, walking through restaurants and shopping stores. I always, always, always feel like when people look at me they're thinking God, she's fat or something equally awful. I'm sure not all of them are, but some are. I don't want to feel like that anymore.
I think that's a pretty good list for a first go. So any time I'm having a down day, or feeling like giving up, I'm going to come back to this list and remind myself why I started this lifestyle change, and why I will keep fighting until I reach my goal. Maybe they'll help some of you guys as well!
